


Fools Rush In

by Fitcherella



Category: Skins (UK)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 15:56:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3296207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fitcherella/pseuds/Fitcherella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. After living in America for almost her entire life, Naomi suddenly finds out she's ilegal and will be deported back to England. To help prevent her deportation her ex-girlfriend Emily agrees to marry her behind everyone's back. Will they be able to fool everyone or will they be only fooling themselves?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fools Rush In

**Fools Rush In**

**Chapter 1**

**Emily**

_Wise men say...only fools rush in….but I can't help, falling in love with you…_

There was an Elvis song playing, I remember that. But of course there would be one playing because I am in the place where you'd most expect to hear an old cheesy Elvis ballad blaring out non-stop on a loop until my ears almost bled.

We are actually standing in some kind of a line, a queue like Naomi calls it. I am a bit drunk because I practically drank the entire time on the plane ride and then almost half the content of the mini bar at the hotel, my nerves are shocked to hell and I still can't believe what we are doing.

"Fucks sake, how long is this bloody queue?"

Bloody queue, how cute is it that ?...no matter what she says, even the most absurd and even vulgar of words sound absolutely adorable in that Bristish accent.

God, I am being such a freaking moron.

I am a moron.

Naomi might call me a twat.

"I am twat"

"Why are you a twat?"

"I forgot my passport"

"Why would you need your passport?"

"For identification…Jesus, Ems…how much have you had to drink?"

"Well, can't you show your driver's license?"

"They revoked it…"

"Revoked it? What the fuck Naomi, were you like, driving drunk or something? How many fucking times have I told you not to drink and drive…You never listen, do you?…one of these days…"

"OK, stop right now"

In one swift move Naomi grabs me by the arms as the entire line of people stare at our spectacle. It's incredible how judgmental people can look while standing in a line at a 24-hour chapel in Vegas where you are soon to be married by a guy dressed as Elvis and your witnesses are gonna be Cher and Marilyn Monroe.

"They are staring."

"I know, I freaking know they are staring…" She takes me to the side of the line and starts talking to me in a lower voice. "I didn't drive drunk, I heard you the first 50,000 times you've told me not to do that since I got my license. I got it revoked by immigration, when I went to inquire about my status and they told me I was up for deportation they took everything except my passport, okay?"

Right, so maybe I should tell you why we are here. You must be wondering because this is starting to look kind of weird, me standing in the middle of an Elvis marriage chapel in Vegas with my ex-girlfriend Naomi waiting to get hitched.

Well, it all started about three days ago when I decided to call up Effy and ask her what her and the gang were up to.

" _No…it isn't a party…we're just here hanging out."_

_"At Naomi's? Effy, what the fuck?...you guys promised we'd only hang out at neutral places after…well, you know…"_

_"The divorce…"_

_"Ha, YOU and Cook thinking you are so funny with the whole divorce and alimony and child support crap, but it's not funny. Naomi and I weren't married and so this isn't a divorce and nobody has to choose sides, the split up was amicable and it was ages ago…"_

_"Ages? Em, it was like six months ago."_

_"For me that's ages…"_

_"Is that the whole 'lesbian years' thing? Katie tried to explain it to me but I didn't get it…"_

_"Nou, ass…it has nothing to do with the stupid 'lesbian years' ordeal. I don't even know where Katie got that from, I think me making her binge-watch the L-Word to get her to accept my sexuality may have not been a very good idea. Now she thinks she's some kind of a lesbian guru, which she isn't."_

_"Whatever…"_

_"Anyway, why are you even at Naomi's? Thought you texted me saying we were meeting at Keith's bar?"_

_"Well, she's suicidal, that's why."_

OK, so you might think at this point by the way Effy and I talk that maybe my brunette friend was being a bit sarcastic and maybe exaggerating the condition that Naomi was in.

She wasn't.

When I arrived at Naomi's that evening I found her and Cook and Effy sitting around her couch drinking like it was going out of style and smoking whatever they could get their hands on.

It had been almost a month since I had actually seen Naomi, because since the whole break up thing I wasn't very keen on the idea of being friends with my ex-girlfriend, especially after the way she'd been with me and the reasons we had broken up.

The truth was that I had only really stayed friends with her because I felt bad for her. After all, it'd only been a few months since her mom had passed away and it had all been so sudden.

If I am even more truthful, there was a part of me that hated the way Naomi had acted with me after Gina had passed away and her behavior but also another part that hoped this was all just a phase and that maybe one day after she was better she'd come to her sense and maybe we could try this whole thing one more time.

Despite the fact that Naomi had treated me so miserably and that she didn't really deserve for me to give her an ounce of my forgiveness, I forgave her and decided not remain friends for the sake my own sanity and so that our group of friends wouldn't split up.

I actually still loved her very much, even though she wasn't my favorite person in the world it's really hard to stop loving someone who you have loved for so long.

It had been so many years since I loved her, I can hardly even remember when it was I started to do so. All I know is that after the first time she walked into Mrs. Spike's 5th grade class and she sat me next to her, those wonderfully blue eyes and that smile and that accent…that accent that drove me absolutely insane. I was instantly enchanted with the the little British exchange student that stole everyone's heart.

"Emsy…Ems…are you listening to me?"

"What?"

"The lady needs the ticket"

"Ticket? What ticket?"

"The ticket that the agent gave you at the cash register where you paid" The lady at the service window explained in a comically monotonous voice that reminded me of that Roz lady from Monsters Inc…come to think of it, she kinda looked like that her too.

"Wait, isn't this where you pay? I haven't paid anything."

"Oh for fuck's sake"

Naomi wasn't in a very good humor by the time we'd spent almost an hour waiting in a line to get to someone who told us we had waited in vain.

She was very nervous, had been nervous since the beginning. Since three days ago when I had proposed this entire thing to her.

" _Emilio, you coming or what?"_

_"Um" I said to Cook as I watched him walking out the door behind Effy. "Actually, go on…I am gonna…ummm…gonna stay and help Naoms pick up…"_

_"No, you don't need to do that. I'll be fine. It's not like it matters anymore whether I pick up or not. I got like a month here anyway. Maybe I'll just stop picking up after myself and then Mrs. Monroe will have to call the Sanitation department and they'll jail me on some kind of twerped nonsensical code and then I'll get to stay here for longer…in jail, but still…it'd be longer."_

_"It's okay" I spoke softly to her and walked over to where she was and started to pick up the mess. "I'm staying Cook, I'll call a cab or something."_

_Cook smiled naughtily at me and then mouthed out the words 'good one' to me and pulled up two thumbs up as if me trying to stay and help Naomi pick up was some sort of a ploy to end up in bed with her or something._

_I am almost certain that this was what he had in mind and I bet that douchebag probably ended up fantasizing all about it when he got home that night, come to think of it. God, why did I have to think of that? Now I feel nauseated._

"I am not feeling well, I think maybe I drank too much…I think maybe we should…"

"Go…" Noami stared down at me and looked straight into my eyes with the biggest look of repentence I had ever seen her sport.

"Yes, go to pick up your passport and come back and pay the fee…we aren't backing out from this."

She'd been doubting this entire thing since I had proposed it a few days before, trying to use her wit to try to argue against every solemn reason why this whole thing was a bad idea. But I didn't think so. I didn't think this was bad, in fact this was the only idea that seemed like a sane one at the time.

" _So they gave you 30 days, then?"_

_"Technically it's 29 now, but who is counting?"_

_"But you didn't, like…sign anything? You didn't give up your rights?"_

_"No, I was supposed to sign something but I told them I would seek a lawyer before, you know how I am about signing stuff but you know that I can't afford a lawyer…I can hardly afford rent now that I can't even work anymore."_

_"Well, if you need it I can…"_

_"Nouuu, never…not a chance. Jenna hates me Emily, an immigration lawyer isn't exactly cheap and as much as you and Katie think you are able to get your exhuberant purchases past Jenna you know for a fact she's montoring each cent you spend. I am surprised she doesn't have you followed to make sure you're going wherever you've told her you are._

_"OK"_

_Obviously I was dissolutioned about what she was saying but I knew she was right. No matter how much my mom's estate was worth and what our inheritance was gonna be and how many luxuries Jenna allowed Katie, James and I the truth of the matter was that none of that money belonged to us and there was no way I was gonna be able to explain the reason why I spent 5 to 10 thousand dollars on immigration legal fees to my mom._

_"Look Ems, I appreciate your concern but the fact of the matter is that I have no real options here."_

_"How can you even know that?…I mean, maybe if you work out some kind of a deal with a lawyer, you could pay them monthly and I'll talk to Keith about giving you your job back. We can…I dunno, do something…maybe he can put me down as the worker for tax purposes and then you just go and take the shifts and pay me and then I'll just deposit it for you to your bank account or in a check…"_

_"No Emily, no…okay? I am not allowing any of that. I appreciate that you are willing to even think about doing things that are in fact illegal to help me out but I…look I spoke to Thomas and JJ, you know…"_

_"Panda's friends?"_

_"Yes, the two guys she's going to college with. They are both pre-law and Thomas is very knowlegable of immigration stuff because he dealt with it all his life. I explained the whole thing to him and tells me there's nothing to be done."_

OK, so there was nothing to be done…at least according to what Thomas had told Naomi. There was nothing to be done or a problem to be fixed in Naomi's case because the truth of the matter was that no one ever knew there was a problem to be fixed.

You see, as much as I really loved Gina Campbell…and trust me, I did…she was a bit of a fucking imbecile who really fucked her own daughter over for years without her knowing.

What had happened to Naomi had no name, it was absolutely catastrophic…it brings me close to tears just thinking about it.

Imagine having lived almost half your life in a place, having grown up, made friends, studied, made an entire life in one place and then out of the blue…one day by coincidence find out that all that you knew was your life was actually a pantomime.

Naomi had been waiting to enroll at University for almost a year already but she never had because when she was about to do so suddenly her mom had been diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer and she knew she couldn't handle it.

So she had given up college and decided to wait out, and after Gina passed away (only a few weeks later) Naomi was too devasted to even try to focus herself enough. So she had waited some more. It had been more than a year since we had graduate, almost two and now…on the day she'd finally chosen to get her life back together. The day she had stood up and said she was gonna try to get herself back on track the universe gives her an even bigger kick right in the ass.

_"That can't be…I just don't understand how it is that your mom never told you…did she not know?"_

_"Of course she knew, of course my mum knew Emsy… She'd known for years. She just, you know how it was with her. You know she had those idiotic anti-establishment ideas. She had all that fucking crap in her brain, she thought she was like beyond the law and beyond everything. She fucking lived that way and she also…" Naomi suddenly broke down and started to cry so violently that I had no choice but to take her into my arms and comfort her. "She also died because of it."_

Naomi's mom was a nice person. I could never speak ill of her because she was nothing but sweet and supportive to me and our relationship but at this moment in time when I was holding her lonely, young, orphan daughter in my arms I felt like I hated her. She had chosen not to try any medical treatments because she was sure she could get cured by drinking a darn tea from some kind of South American plant and she was dead within six weeks. And even worse…she'd left Naomi with nothing but debt and sorrow…she'd left her alone.

Gina had always been very selfish, no matter how sweet she was to me. She'd chosen to move from Bristol to Florida after she became enamored with some guy in a band that had played a few gigs in the bar she was working at when Naomi was about 9.

She'd moved them to a brand new country thinking this idiot named Billy was gonna marry her and that all was gonna be alright and she lived with him for years until he cheated on her and she threw him out.

By the time that happened Naomi was about 14 and Gina's mom, the only relative she really had in Bristol had passed away a few years prior. Gina had built a life, Naomi has friends and didn't wanna leave them so Gina opted to stay as she war hoping maybe soon she's find another guy that would resolve all her issues. That was the way she thought.

So she remained working side jobs and living a life as if nothing was happening. She knew one day she'd have to face the fact that they weren't legally allowed to stay in the US, that they needed some kind of a visa or something so that Naomi could eventually work and live her life and maybe become a citizen of the place she'd known her entire life, but even knowing that Gina did nothing. She waited until that one day were things would change. Unfortunately, they never did.

When Naomi turned 16 she got her a driver's license with a friend of Gina's at the DMV who she paid off to pretend Naomi had turned in all the correct papers. Back then there was no good record keeping and as we all know in this town anyone with money can get away with mostly anything as long as the have a 'guy' to resolve do them for you.

Naomi never knew…she never suspected. She knew she was British, of course she did…she was quite proud and tried to keep her ethnicity, her accent, some of the customs that her mom taught her. But she grew up all her life with us. She was one of us, she wanted all we wanted, she planned her life around what she thought was a truth and it ended up being a lie.

The day she went to apply to enroll at University, the clerk looked her up and told her she had an immigration hold and sent her to the nearest immigration office. When she arrived there they told her she was up for deportation and since she had no criminal record they gave her 30 days to resolve her migratory status or go back to the UK, no questions asked.

" _There is nothing I can do, Em…nothing…"_

_It had been so long since we had been like this and to tell you the truth at any other point in time after our break up I would've deemed having my ex girlfriend scrunched up into my arms while we were laying on her couch and I kissed her forehead and caressed her back to calm her down a bit... awkard._

_But how could I not hold her and comfort her and try to calm her down. How could I deny her all this? She was devasted, she was torn…her life was completely over and my heart was in pieces just thinking about it._

_"Tell me again what options Thomas gave you…tell me exactly what he said, are you sure he said no options? Those were his exact words?"_

_"Well, no…not exactly. He said I only had two options but they were both imposible."_

_"Two options? What were they?"_

_"First one was getting myself a contract, so that I could apply for a work visa…J…J-1 I think. He said that would be imposible because those visas are for proffesionals who specialize in a field…for like doctors, scientists, enterpreneurs…people who basically are needed here in America because they got like a business or are working on a project and no one else can fulfil their job for them. They don't just give you a work visa for working at Walmart or in a pub."_

_"Shit…ok…well then that's not an option. So what's the second one?"_

_"The second one isn't an option either…the second is a family visa…"_

_"Family?"_

_"Yes, well a status they give to family members of US citizens…"_

_"So like, a brother, a parent…or if you got a kid?"_

_"Yea…or a spouse…"_

_"Spouse?"_

_"Yes, but since I neither have a kid that's more than 18, any siblings or parents that are citizens and am I not married…"_

_I stopped for a minute because all of a sudden something had occurred to me but…of course, it was a ridiculous idea and it was…it was a random thought that Naomi was probably gonna refute anyway but I am me and I can't hold myself back so without even thinking it I blurted it out…_

_"Well, I am a US citizen."_

_"Yes, that's nice for you…congratulations. I am sure Uncle Sam is proud of you…"_

_I rolled my eyes because of course this was the way Naomi might answer me, like she always did. When she was under pressure, when she was stressed she became completely insufferable and her level of sarcasm would go up like 200% while her wit would lower to 20...she lost any sense whatsoever and would just say stupid things…her way of being annoyed me to no end, normally and I would've probably ended up answering back sarcastically which would end in us fighting again but in this case I tried not to answer her like I had wanted to and I tried to be sweet and gentle instead. I knew this was no time to start a fight._

_"Babe, listen…" I sighed before I said this because I knew her reaction was gonna be positively explosive at the least. "I mean, what I meant is I am a citizen and if you married me…"_

_"You?" She got up from where she had been scrunched up into my embrace on the couch so fast I thought we were both gonna tumble over onto the floor. "Em, you know that…you know I love you but you and I…you told me yourself, we don't work…we get in each other's nerves and we can't even stand being girlfriends even less being married…you know that right?"_

_Of course I knew that._

_"Of course I know that Naomi, I am not proposing we get back together, silly. I know more than anyone that you and I definitely do not work…"_

_"Okay, then I don't get what you are proposing."_

_"Naoms, sometimes you can be so smart and others…so fucking dim witted."_

_She snubbed me and gave me an annoyed face that made me almost smile, though I knew that if I had she might not take me seriously so I took another breath and went on._

_"Listen to me, okay? What I am proposing…I know it's gonna sound a bit, insane…but maybe, I mean, if we do it right…I think it could be the solution."_

_She sighed and rolled her eyes because she was now getting what I was getting at and was starting to form arguments against anything I was about to say like she always did. When she was smart, the girl was smart…I tell ya._

_"Naomi…I am not saying we will get back together, get married and have three kids and a dog…"_

_"Three kids? You can't even water your plans, Emily Fitch…I doubt you and three kids…"_

_"OK, stop…and listen to me very carefully" I took her by the cheeks so that she could focus on me and just listen. I had her right in front of me and looking into her eyes like that gave me chills all down my spine, chills like the ones I am having right now as we stood there in that line in Vegas._

_"Naomi, I am a citizen and you need to stay in the US and we had a relationship that lasted about a year, even if it was a bit disaster and it ended…well…it ended the worse of ways. It would be plausible that you and I suddenly went back together and decided to marry…I dunno, at the spur of the moment thing…like in a wave of passion."_

_"What, like a Vegas wedding?" She smiled and when she did every single hair in my body stood at attention, because let's face it…no matter what a giant asshole Naomi was and how horrible we had ended thing those blues eyes and that smile still did things for me._

_"Yes" I smiled back and bit my lip. I swear I tried not to do it, but again…the eyes… "A wedding at Vegas or something like that. It'd be plausible…you know…You tell me you're leaving to UK and never coming back, I realize I can't live without you, we drink a bit too much and decide to head out to Nevada on the next plane because I can't bear the thought of being without by my side…"_

_"Because you still love me?"_

_A stake in middle of my heart may have hurt a bit less than hearing say that._

_"Allegedly" I composed myself immediately and I sat up, well knowing that I had to focus on getting my FRIEND Naomi out of the ordeal…I was helping a friend…not my ex, not the person I loved since I was 9…my FRIEND who was in trouble, who would be deported back to a country where she knew no one without a single cent to her name. I was being charitable._

_"Yea, well…yes…allegedly."_

_"Do you think they'd buy it? Do you think it'll work?"_

_"I guess…" She said as she sat up away from me and I stood up off the couch and headed over where she had some water bottles and took one and started to drink._

_"Maybe I should call Thommo and Jay and run it by them" She took her phone after a minute of silence and started to dial._

_"No" I said, running toward her and taking the cell away from her hand. "No one could know."_

_"What? That we are married?"_

_"No, everyone would have to know we are married…we would have to pretend that we are. No one could know that it's not real."_

_"Not even Thomas?"_

_"Not Thomas, or Effy and especially not Cook…"_

_"No, yea…Cook can't know…He can't keep a secret if his life depended on it." She agreed with me and then stood up and took her phone back from my hand._

_"I still…I think maybe we could trust Thomas, he seems like a very upstanding guy…"_

_"That's exactly why we can't tell him, Naoms, what we are gonna do…getting married just for you to stay has to be at least felony…I am not huge on laws, you're really the expert in that…"_

_"No, yea…It is probably a felony."_

_"Getting Thomas, JJ, Cook or Effy involved in this would implicate them."_

_"We don't want that."_

_"Definitely not."_

_There was a silence for a moment as I drank the rest of my water and Naomi sat on her couch staring at me. You could tell she was deep in thought, that she was actually considering it and I kind of let her think about it because suddenly I saw a bit of hope in her eyes…suddenly there was that light that I liked so much. The spark that made me love her madly since I could remember._

_"You'd go to jail, for me."_

_The statement wasn't even a question, it was a realization. It was as if her brain was telling her heart out loud something she may not really believe._

_After what had happened with us six months before...after all the pain and the way I had ended it…after the things we had said to one another on that awful day I am sure Naomi was convinced I actually hated her secretly._

_I know she'd talked to Effy about why I kept her in the group, why I wasn't obliging everyone to shun her and that was what the whole 'lesbian divorce' joke was all about between Effy, Cook and herself._

_I think she wasn't sure what my deal was and what my intentions were with keeping her around. The least she ever imagined was that out of every one of our friends I would be the one to stand up and give her the only option she had to be able to stay in the only place she knew as her home._

_"Emily, you don't have to…"_

_"I know, Naomi…I know I don't have to. But…" I had to cough and clear my throat because even the words made me feel like crying. "Naomi, I know we hurt each other like…majorly…I know that we don't work as a couple and that you have moved on and you're even dating…"_

_"How did you?"_

_"Panda said..."_

_"Em, I…"_

_"Shhh" I walked over and placed my hand on her lips so she'd let me talk. "I don't…that's not any of my business. I know that you had to move on, I didn't expect you not to, okay?"_

_"Okay"_

_"This, what I am gonna do…what we will do is what I would do if Effy, Cook or even Panda were in this trouble, okay?"_

_She nodded and I took my hand away from her mouth and stared straight into her eyes._

_"You guys are my best friends; you've been there all my life and no matter what happened between us I would never allow you to be deported to a country where you have no one, where you have nothing, where you don't even have a place to stay when I could help it by singing a simple paper…alright?"_

"Ok, you got everything then?"

"Yup…my passport, the fee, the rings, the bouquets."

I smiled at her and took her hand and walked into that line that was a lot shorter for some reason at this time of night. It was now almost 2 AM.

"You ready?" She said as she smiled at me and we stepped into the window of the monotonous service clerk.

"Not really" I said and I smiled, something that made Naomi burst out into a fit of giggles.

"Effy and Cook are gonna die…"

"Katie…Katie is gonna fucking die"

"Fitch, Campbell…you're on in a minute…do you have a song request?"

"Song request?" I said a bit confused.

"For the entrance…when you walk in a song plays until you get to the front of the altar…here's a list"

"What do you say?" She said looking at me who was looking through the list the clerk had handed to use a second prior.

"Well…it's Vegas, right? How about a little Elvis?" I said with a smile.

"This one" Naomi said pointing at a song as the clerk walked inside the chapel with Naomi and I trailing after her. We both laughed at how comical this whole thing was. There was an actual guy dressed as the King of Rock and Roll in the front of the isle and Marilyn and Cher were our witnesses…

And then suddenly a song started to play…

**Wise men say…only fools rush in…but I can't help, falling love with you…**

We both giggled as the clerk told us to start walking toward the altar together. She assured us that normally the groom stands up and waits for the bride to walk up the isle but since we were both chicks, she didn't know what was right. Apparently, she was new.

**Shall I stay, would it be a sin? But I can't help falling in love with you**.

It's odd, as a little girl you picture your wedding…well, at least I did. I was always rather romantic and was always into fairytales and castles and princesses…and though I always knew I never wanted to marry the prince, in fact, sometimes I pictured myself dressed as the princess as the princess walked the isle toward me I never in my entire life pictured myself walking up the isle to a fat guy in an Elvis suit waiting to marry me.

**Like the river flows, gently through the stream darling so it goes…some things are meant to be.**

I always pictured a great wedding with my family and friends and huge dresses and a reception and flowers, so many flowers… in a garden by a stream or a river…I don't know…something romantic. But never this.

**Take my hand, take my whole life too….but I can't help falling in love with you.**

"Are you nervous?" Naomi, still holding my hand turned around when we were already in front of The King of Rock and whispered into my ear.

"No" I lied because the truth was that I was shitting my pants because in this moment all of the repercussion this single act would bring were flooding the back of my mind and suddenly I felt like maybe I should stop this entire thing and just run out of there. I knew this would turn out badly somehow…or would it?

"Ok then, let's get hitched…" Naomi said as she looked at Elvis and told him we were ready.

"Yea…let's get Fitched!…"

"Blimey, that reminds me of Jenna…your mum is gonna love this…if she were here, I bet you she would be…"

"Naomi…"

"What?"

"Can you not mention my mom at this moment?"

"Alright…sorry…you were saying, Elvis?"

"Do you Naomi take Emily to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, to kiss her quick and love her tender, all the days of your life and be her hunka hunka burnin' love as long as you both shall live?"

"I do"

And that is how it happened….that is how Naomi and I ended up married. That is how, in front of Elvis in a chapel at 3 in the morning in Vegas, Naomi and I got hitched…or well… _Fitched._


End file.
